Dr. Mom Online

Once again, I’ve just recently finished going through my morning “ME time”… it’s the time of day when my mind is at its “loftiest”! I have great insight and clarity both during and immediately after my rituals. It’s an absolutely amazing feeling… especially since there are many other moments during the day that I’m convinced I might just be losing my mind! I much prefer my clear, calm and focused morning brain!

Anyhow, I thought I’ve been focused on for the past 3 or 4 mornings during my rituals is the thought of “creating a string of pearls” with my children. I had been beating myself up with some mommy guilt about ‘reacting’ too much with the kids – getting upset with the- spending too much time correcting and disciplining and not making their lives fun enough.

But, I also know in my heart that I have many amazing moments with them. I was becoming frustrated, thinking things like, “why can’t we just get through a day without….. (fill in the blank) you guys fighting….. somebody hitting….. sassy talk…. whining… etc. etc.”

I was taking it very personally that I couldn’t seem to create the perfect, unruffled day with them. Unrealistic, I know. Frustrating nonetheless.

Then it came to me a few mornings ago. The thought isn’t new to me, but I was different this time around, and ready to ‘hear’ the thought differently.

I’m really very good at creating “moments” with the kids. You know, those little specs of time when everything’s perfect and happy and loving. Those moments when you feel the deepest connection and joy. The moments when it all comes together – “Ahhhh yes, this is what motherhood is all about!” Personally, in those moments, I fully understand my purpose in this world.

So, instead of trying to create the perfect day, I decided to set my sights a little lower! I’ll focus on creating those cherished, loving and totally present moments with the kids… and I’ll intentionally create more of those throughout the day. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do! That’s more manageable!

I think of those blissful little moments as the “pearls”- my treasured snippets of love and peace and connection. The more of those pearls I can create (or notice as they are happening), the more beautiful of a necklace I can create.

My wish is that as my children grow up and look back upon their lives, overall, they’ll see the beautiful necklace.

My pearls are simple and “do-able” things like: greeting the kids with a smile and hugs and a cheerful disposition, regardless of what I may have been preoccupied with a moment earlier; truly feeling and appreciating their hugs; snuggling at least once a day; saying ‘yes’ more to their innocent, age-appropriate requests; and making eye contact with them and smiling and following along as they tell me all about their imaginary world!

I’m no perfect mom, but these little items even I can master! (at least most of the time!)

I’m sure I’ll need to re-read this post at some point down the road to remind myself of this great insight… I know full well that we need to continue affirming thoughts and habits like these, ‘cuz the craziness of life tends to take us off track! ‘Tis the nature of the beast!