Stop Pleading & Bargaining… Start Attracting!

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Is anyone else a fan of The Secret? I loved it when it first came out… and I’ve recently been re-visiting some of its simplistic Universal principles. Ahhhh… it feels good!

By the way, I’m real clear on WHO holds the Master Plan for my life. The Secret, and other teachings like it, just reminds me that I was granted free will, intelligence, passion and desire for a reason!

Do you remember the first spark of hope you felt when you watched The Secret? I clearly remember the inspiration and excitement that I felt, knowing that (more accurately, being *reminded* that) “Yes, I can make my dreams come true! What am I waiting for?!”

But how many of you soon saw that hope dwindle into frustration? How many of you started muttering things like:

- “It seems to work for other people, but I just can’t get it right.”

- “I’m frustrated that sometimes I can get it to work, but sometimes I can’t. What’s the challenge here?”

- “Why am I having so much trouble?”

- “I think the universe is against me.” {Pity party on a large scale!}

- “I’m trying very, VERY hard but still nothing is happening!”

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. About 97% of people also couldn’t make the Law of Attraction work for them the first time round. Think about it, just like anything else, you have to practice many times before you see success. A child doesn’t learn to walk without falling over a couple of times, right?

But in practice, everything is easier said and done. When you’re frustrated, it’s hard to stay positive. And it’s especially harder to stay positive when the evidence all around you is screams negativity,  like the unstable economy or senseless acts of violence, or major relationship challenges and ongoing stress.

And do you know what happens when you fail to stay positive? That’s right – you start attracting negative things in to your life. Being positive and attractive requires being proactive!

So how can you make the Law of Attraction work for you – without getting frustrated? How do those who successfully implement the Law of Attraction do it with such confidence and finesse?

Well, here are three quick tips so you will never feel frustrated or tired of pleading with God/the universe… or bargaining. You will know how to start manifesting like a pro.

1. Allow Yourself To Receive

Just like a lost child who approaches a police officer and asks, “Excuse me Sir, can you tell me how to go to the post office? Can you? Can you? Can you? Can you? Can you?” Well, if the child goes on and on asking, the police officer can’t even give an answer, right?

Well, it’s the same thing with your mind. If the only thing your mind is doing is transmit, transmit, transmit, the universe — which is trying to respond — can’t give you a single thing because you’re not allowing yourself to receive!

So, have the confidence in yourself and stop exhausting yourself by running around person to person begging for riches, and then wondering why nobody is dropping a penny in your cup (Hint: It’s because you’re running away too fast for them before they can even reach for their wallets).

Just think of your desires and leave it out there, go away, and trust that your cup will be filled with gold coins (or whatever it is you asked for) when the time is right.

2. Be Patient With Yourself

Receiving takes time.

Sadly, many people give up just a couple of steps before the finish line because they’ve decided that if it’s not working by now, it’s never going to work at all. Worse still are those who throw in more and more energy because they think that with more resources, the results will come faster.

This is like expecting 9 mothers to conceive and deliver a baby in 1 month. You also can’t bake cookies in half the time by doubling the temperature. You’ll incinerate those cookies to ashes!

In simple terms: Everything in this world has a natural development time, and this fact will not change no matter what resources you throw at it.

So relax and be patient. Remember that you too, as part of the universe, are also governed by the laws of the universe, and you cannot change the natural development time.

If you remember this, you will less likely work yourself up into frustration, or worse, push yourself into a downward spiral of negativity.

In the meantime, focus on being a GIVER. I believe that reciprocity is key. When we’re in the right flow with the universe… giving, loving, being a good person… then it seems more effortless to be on the receiving end of your heart’s desires.

3. Support and Educate Yourself

Like the child who is learning how to walk, you need support. You also need to guidance on how to do it, and also the role models to look up to.

Many people give up because they think that “The Secret” is the “be all and end all” solution. Well, it’s NOT. “The Secret” is just a small portion. It was never intended, and has never been, the whole answer.

Coming to the conclusion that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work when all you ever did to educate yourself was watch “The Secret” 19 times (without looking at changing the habits of other areas of your life) is like coming to the conclusion that exercising is not an effective way to lose weight because all you did is run on the treadmill for 2 hours a day (but you’re still stuffing yourself with fried foods and cheesecakes).

So seek and be hungry for new knowledge. Also, make an effort to be amongst people or communities where you can support each other, learn from each other and also share new knowledge that you have found.

While the Law of Attraction is not an overnight delivery service, it will indeed deliver, if you do your part too!

Check out the site here – go to The 11 Forgotten Laws. I think the timing is PERFECT for a course like this.

Choices, Dreams, Freedom and Success!

Today, I’m sharing a post from a Guest ~ Barbara Hofmeister…

I met Barbara at a “Personal Success” seminar a year and a half ago. I was immediately touched by her genuine joy and zest for life! She has a way of making others smile and finding the light within themselves. What a great lady!

Today, Barbara is officially launching her new book, “To Be or Not to Be. The Choice is Yours”, and I wanted to share this with you. When you order her book, you also receive FORTY-SEVEN gifts from various authors and speakers!! Unreal! How cool is *that*?! (There’s a gift from ME in there, too!)

You can order Barbara’s book through this link to get the 47 SUCCCESS gifts. http://MegaSuccessDay.com

“The little girl was standing tiptoe on the old brown sofa that served as her bed at night. She pressed her cheek against the window pane trying to look down the five stories to the busy street below. But as much as she craned her head, their little attic room was too high up and the window too small to
see what was going on below. She signed and slipped down again behind the kitchen table. She really wished her mother would be home to keep her company and help her with her homework. But Mom was still at work and when she finally came home she would be much too tired to be any fun.
Since they had fled East Germany life had changed dramatically. Nobody had time for her anymore and she had left all her friends behind. No more roaming the countryside with her German Sheppard, no more feeding and teasing the chickens with her best friend Christine, no more climbing fences
and trees with her cousins. No more beautiful pink little girls room, no more warm kitchen with Mummy cooking her favorite dinner, no more laughter with Grandma who could tell such lovely stories. There seemed to be nothing anymore…

“Not even Sunday morning tickling sessions with Dad.

Tears started running down her cheeks. She didn’t understand – WHY? Why did they have to leave??? They had everything before – their own house, a car, even a TV and a telephone – the only one in the village. They had it ALL and loads of friends and a loving family. Why change this for nothing?

“Now they only had this small, ugly attic room which served as home to all 3 of them. Not even a bathroom, just a sink and the toilet was 2 floors down. Her Dad said it had to do. Maybe he didn’t mind so much. He was away all week. He worked as a truck driver and only came home Friday night or even Saturday morning and left again on Sunday. Maybe for him it was ok but somehow she didn’t think so because there was no laughter when he was at home and his nerves seemed frayed. And almost every Saturday he took Mummy to the cinema. He said it was to let his little girl sleep. Why couldn’t he understand that she would rather not sleep then be alone – once again.

“Sometime she thought he did not love her anymore.

How else could she explain the harassed look on his face, their continuous arguments about her education and about money. That definitely was a problem. There never seemed to be enough of it. She knew it was the reason why they both worked so much but she didn’t care. She wanted her life back, she wanted her family and friends back.

“Today the little girl is an ‘big’ girl. Her name is Barbara and in this book you will get to know her because the little girl was me. My parents escaped from East Germany when I was 8. My father in the trunk of a car, my mother and I through Berlin. We arrived in the West with just a small case and the equivalent of 400 Dollars.

“In those days there was plenty of work but no housing. All large cities, were the work was, had been bombed out during the war. It took my parents almost 20 years of hard labor before they had again what we left behind in Communist Germany but my father was convinced that it had been worth it.

“Why? Because it had given him what was most precious to him – the freedom to live his dream, the dream of becoming a successful
entrepreneur.

“When you are a little girl, you cannot understand that but when you are a big girl like me today, you know how important the freedom to choose is. Today I am very grateful that my father made this painful decision – also for me – and through it gave me the opportunity to live my own dream, and part of my dream is to empower you to live yours. If you let me, I will help you transform your life into the life of your dreams – taking one step at the time.”

Barbara Hofmeister’s new book “To Be or Not to Be. The Choice is Yours” is available now.

Order through this link to get 47 SUCCCESS gifts. http://MegaSuccessDay.com

Getting Back on Track With Healthy Lifestyle Choices

As you may have noticed, I was feeling a wee bit irked with myself when I wrote yesterday’s post! I know that guilt (as well as worry and anxiety) is a useless, toxic emotion… so I don’t really let myself get to *that* point. However, I was just less-than-impressed with my choice-making recently. It happens!

Anyhow, today is a different story.

First of all, I don’t get TOO far off track to begin with. I tend to keep doing a lot of ‘right’ things, even when I’m “off track”. The difference is, I tend to add more ‘wrong’ things than I normally would… or should.

It helps to not get so far from balance in the first place. It makes getting back on track a relatively simple process!

Yesterday, I chose to do a cleanse day. There’s a certain ‘nutritional’ cleansing and detoxification drink I like to drink when I want to clean things up a bit. So I did that a few times throughout the day. Also, I kept my intake very light throughout the day (less stress to the digestive system), and kept it very pure.

Dinner was a nice mixture of clean protein (organic chicken), organic carrots, organic broccoli and a bit of couscous. Small servings – taking it easy on my systems!

Throughout the day, I also ‘cleansed’ in other ways supportive to overall health, happiness and stress reduction. It’s mostly stuff I do on a regular basis, but yesterday I went about it all with a different mindset – focusing on how my actions and choices are very nurturing and healing.

Now THAT can make you feel a whole lot different about the healthy choices you make!

I started the day on the dock at dawn, doing my gentle stretching & breathing exercises, then some prayer, affirmations and visualizations. After dropping the kids off at school, I was extra careful to ‘chunk down’ my monstrous to-do list for work into realistic and manageable portions… setting myself up to succeed, rather than feeling more frustration.

Again, nothing much new about that – just a renewed focus on the basics. I was intentional and focused on scheduling my priorities.

Finally, before heading in to the office for the afternoon, I did a mini work out and then headed out for a fantastic bike ride. Part of me was saying, “You really don’t have time for this today!” But, thankfully, the part of me that sits on the *other* shoulder, wearing white and adorned with wings and a halo, said “You really should MAKE the time… your health, happiness and stress reduction are more important than the computer right now!!”

I love it when that part of me takes a stand! It was a great ride, full of good thoughts and energy. It was a very good choice!

I capped the day with an earlier-than-usual bedtime. Ahhh… THAT was a much-needed great choice!

So, getting back on track for me is always a matter of ‘hitting the high notes’ when it comes to nutrition, movement and mindset. Just eating better is good… but not enough. Adding a work out is good… but not enough. I need a balance of all three major components of lifestyle in order to feel restored, balanced and at peace with myself.

Imagine that! It comes back to balanced lifestyle… sounds familiar!

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Less-Than-Healthy Choices

Clearly, I have mastered the art of self-sabotage!

In more stressful times, I can rival the best of ‘em out there with my ability to justify “sliding” a bit with my healthy choices. Thankfully, I don’t STOP doing many of the things that I know ADD to my health. I just allow myself to look beyond the consequences too much and end up choosing things that SUBTRACT from my health.

And I KNOW better!! Ugh.

To most people, my “straying” is barely noticeable – a little dessert here, an extra glass of wine there… you might know how that goes.

It’s noticeable to ME. Mostly in the mental/emotional sort of way since these less-than-healthy choices are incongruent with my deeper beliefs and understanding about how health (and sickness) are created.

These little toxic choices here and there add up. Sure, it adds up in “calories”, but that’s not the big problem – the consequences always go way beyond calories and pounds. It’s about toxicity. THAT’S what will sneak up and bite us in the bum if we get too lazy with our healthy choices!

Anyhow, just thought I’d share… I’ve never claimed to be perfect, remember? In fact, I like to say that “Better health isn’t about being perfect… it’s about making better (healthier) choices more often.”

I should listen to myself more often!

This week, I am getting back on track – mentally – despite the insanity of the schedule! Feel free to hold me to it! : )

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Insomnia-Induced Musings ~ Maintaining Balance Amidst the Chaos!

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I’m a thinker. Many times, I lie awake when I really *should* catch another few minutes of rest, and I just think. I like to think.

I think of ideas for articles and books, ideas to implement at the practice, things I want to accomplish and get done that day… and sometimes I just think about completely loopy, seemingly inconsequential things!

Recently, things have gotten a little crazier than usual around here! God apparently believes that I can and should handle more… so, voila! “More” it is!

Sure! Go ahead… throw another full-time job on my plate! Why not?! : )

Actually, all the roles I’m filling in my life right now (with the exception of taxi driver and house keeper) are things I’m passionate about, so it makes it easier… just extremely fast-paced right now!

Anyhow, this morning as I was lying in bed in one of these insomnia-induced think sessions, I was thinking about an expression I’ve used recently that feels like it perfectly describes what this very busy time is like these days… and thinking that it might serve some useful purpose in someone else’s life, too!

I’ve recently described my current life as “Interval Living”.

I liken it to “interval training” when I exercise – something I’ve written about here quite a lot. It’s based on bursts of high-intensity power, followed by intentional rest periods. All very focused. All very intentional.

Yep. That’s kinda’ how I need to structure things in my life in order to accomplish the things I need to accomplish (most of them, anyway!) AND, more importantly, give what I need to give to my family, myself, my God… and feel fulfilled.

For the sake of my sanity (and let’s face it… my family’s sanity!), I’ve been chunking each day down to 1 or 2 hour scheduling blocks and filling those blocks with what needs to be done. Practice stuff, Dr. Mom stuff, book writing and promotion stuff, exercise, cooking and meal prep, cleaning/laundry, outdoor work, stuff for school… it fills up pretty quickly, as you all know.

I intentionally schedule “recovery time” each day. Sometimes it’s only 5 or 10 minutes here or there… but I fully maximize those minutes! I spend a few minutes by myself on the dock each morning, catching my breath, praying, stretching, listening, observing, relaxing, visualizing, affirming and preparing for a great day. I even feel more relaxed just typing that!

I also plug in focused “kid time” with the dynamic duo, as well as individual time for each of them. We’re “together” a lot, but it’s not always “present time consciousness” on mom’s part, so I make sure that’s part of each day. With everything going on, sometimes it’s only a few minutes of this “PTC” time ~ nothing else I’m trying to multi-task or accomplish… just lovin’ the heck out of those little people… making them feel like they come first in that moment.

At night, once they’re in bed, the kitchen is clean, the laundry is ready, the lunches are made, the computer work is done, then it’s “chillax” time for hubby and I. Again, it’s not always lengthy, but I make sure it’s *there* to some degree! Of course, there are also those nights I say, “I love you, honey… but I cannot stay awake with you for another minute! I’m goin’ to bed!!”

It has been rather humorous to realize that I’m living my life like a work out! Push hard, hard, hard…. then R-E-S-T… then push, push, push again…

Actually, it’s kind of like giving birth, too! Lol!

(Nah, I like the work out analogy better!)

I’ve also realized that, just like in the case of physically training my body, once in awhile I just need a day OFF altogether! THIS is the time for healing and repair. When we honor ourselves by providing enough nurturing rest and recovery time, we come back stronger, more energized and ready for more!

Anyhow, just thought I’d share!

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Healthy Rituals to Start the Day in a De-Stressed Way!

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I was just thinking how much more I enjoy mornings from spring through fall.

We are blessed to live on a beautiful lake, and I take full advantage of all its tranquil powers as often as possible! Very early each morning, I have a treasured little ritual where I walk out on the dock amidst all the sounds of nature waking up… and I actually breathe!

It’s amazing to me how quickly I can get caught up in the craziness of the day, and forget to breathe! All the more reason that I truly cherish my moments on the dock. I feel deeply relaxed, renewed and peaceful.

This is when and where I find it the easiest to connect to God, to connect to nature, to give thanks, to pray for all that’s on my heart, and to gain the strength – and sanity! – to move forward as the best version of myself possible. I pray, I visualize, I do affirmations (silently or very, very quietly!), and I listen to the life happening around me. I also enjoy sitting out there and meditating, but that usually only happens on non-school mornings!

I know I’m a better person as a result of these rituals… I have better responses to what’s happening around me… I feel better equipped to handle “life”!

Ahhh… so nice.

Too easily, we can overlook this component of our health and wellness. I know I have. We suffer for it. We end up in a chronic physiological stress response, regardless of how well we’re doing with nutrition or exercise. We need balance, and the consistent addition of purity and sufficiency, in our emotional, mental, and spiritual lives as well in order to experience radiant wellness.

(By the way, in the winter, I still do morning rituals… from the comfort of a cozy blanket, sitting inside!)

Do you have your “dock”? What do YOU do… where do YOU go each day to get right with yourself and the world around you?

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Fat-Burning, Brain-Building Hawaiin Dancing!

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I always talk about the importance of moving your spine and all its surrounding tissues in order to fuel up your brain for health and happiness.

Sheesh! Just imagine how healthy and happy these young ladies must be! Lol!!

(Not to mention the nice abs, core strength and overall sleek physiques they have! Hula on, baby!)

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Just Released! “The 7 Essential Keys to Shedding Toxic Fat & Unwanted Pounds”

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Some of you are aware that I’ve been working on this project for the last couple of months. I’m excited to announce that my latest ebook and audio book, “The 7 Essential Keys to Shedding Toxic Fat & Unwanted Pounds” is ready to roll!

This is THE last weight loss solution you’ll ever need!

You can check it out here: http://www.LoseToxicFat.com

Many people have asked me why I chose to write a book about weight loss, when my area of expertise is Wellness.

Well, that’s exactly why!

I feel that Wellness is the number one thing missing from the majority of weight loss products and programs.

We currently have more diet books,more celebrity diets and weight loss products,  more weight management programs, more low-fat & fat-free foods, more low-calorie foods, more sugar-free foods, more fitness ‘experts’, more gyms, more trainers, more exercise shows, more cooking shows, more diet pills and fat burners and more surgeries available to help suppress appetite and remove excess body fat.

BUT… the reality is that we still have a significantly more overweight and out-of-shape population with each passing year and
sky-rocketing rates of chronic illness and sickness.

Clearly, what we’ve been doing is NOT working! In fact, I find it pathetic that no one has stepped up sooner and done something about this.

I’ve witnessed this horrific trend in our Wellness practice for 15 years now. People are bouncing from diet to diet, fad to fad, gimmick to gimmick, surgery to surgery… and never getting or maintaining the results they desire.

Worse yet, I see people getting more and more sick as they make choices they think are going to help them get thin. No one is
telling them what’s missing. No one is pointing out the dangerous choices they’re making that are robbing them of a healthy future.

Enough is enough.

I wrote “The 7 Essential Keys to Shedding Toxic Fat & Unwanted Pounds” to serve as a practical, simple, scientific, wellness-oriented approach to creating a healthier body – inside and out, for life.

Healthier choices result in a healthier, leaner body. I know that in order to get results that last, you’ve got to have the right strategy based on a scientifically accurate paradigm. Then, from there, you need the right plan. I’ve got you covered! In this book, I lay it all out for you.

I wrote this book so that no matter where you are on this journey now, this WILL help. Whether you’ve got those last stubborn 5 lbs. to shed, or you need to shed hundreds of pounds in order to save your life. This WILL help.  No matter what you’ve tried before, this WILL help. No matter how many times you’ve been on this roller coaster and no matter how frustrated you may be feeling, this WILL help.

It’s simple. It’s science. It’s successful!

No gimmicks. No pseudo-science. No fads.

Just better health and a better body!

Check it out at http://www.LoseToxicFat.com

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Working Through Stress ~ Choices, Intention & Gratitude

A few months ago, we made a big decision in our family. It was a decision that didn’t come easily… there were many pro’s and con’s on each side of the ‘argument’. Ultimately we “had to do what we had to do”, for now anyway.

When I have the presence of mind to step outside the situation and become an observer of my life for a little while, I find the whole thing pretty interesting! It’s providing me the perfect opportunity to practice what I preach on many levels.

Since I wasn’t 100% behind the decision we went with, of course I’ve experienced much stress surrounding this issue for the past couple months.

Sound familiar? How many times have I urged readers here, “Your beliefs and your actions/behaviors have got to be aligned with each other in order for you to have success… and less stress.”

Yep. I know this!

I keep trying to be OK with our decision… to embrace it. But since I haven’t done so fully, the gap between what I truly believe and want, and what we’re feeling we ‘need’ to do right now, is causing stress. My beliefs don’t fully align with our actions. Recipe for stress!

The challenge, of course, is that the other option wasn’t perfect either!! Figures. Either way, I would be experiencing some stress in the gap.

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me how we were doing with our decision and our big change. I moaned about it for awhile. Pathetic! That didn’t make anything better.

Then I resolved to saying, “Ah, it’ll be all right… I just need to get used to it. I’ll get used to it… just a little more time.”

On my way home after having that conversation, I was thinking about what I had said. I thought, “Well, that’s pretty lame! ‘I’ll get used to it’?! Right! I’ll get used to it once: (a) I lower my standards, and/or (b) I start caring LESS about the situation!!”

I pondered that for a few days, wondering if that’s how we all feel on some level, conscious or not, when we do things that aren’t necessarily our first choice. We lower our standards, or resign ourselves to less caring about the situation.

I don’t have the answer, by the way… I was just wondering! lol!

After a few more days of realizing these “in-limbo” feelings are really quite useless, I remembered that I always have a choice. This time around, I have a choice in how I’ll feel about the whole scenario, and what I’ll focus on the most.

It would be SO easy to focus on all the things that are clearly not ideal… are not as I wish they could be. Great. Where will that get me? I’ll continue to convince myself that “I’m right”… but I’ll also continue to be stressed out, negative and feel like crap about this decision!! Not health-promoting, to say the least.

In every situation there ARE blessings. I really had this lesson reinforced as I walked my mom’s breast cancer journey with her. Sometimes we have to look a little harder for those blessings than other times, but they ARE always there.

It takes intention.

In the weeks that have passed since this little self-help-talk to myself, I’ve shifted my focus… for the most part! I’m making the effort to intentionally choose to focus on “the good stuff” about our decision each day. Some days, it’s a BIG stretch to find the good stuff… but I find something! Our decision has caused some stress, some discomfort and some uncertainty… like most changes do, but it has also opened up some new doors that were previously closed.

I guess I’m just thinking about the various paths we can end up on in this little journey of ours. Some planned, some planned for us, some that completely blind-side us! We may take a little time to find our groove on the new path, but if we open up to the opportunity and the blessings, and keep an attitude of gratitude surrounding the situation, pretty soon we find a groove that can work for us… at least on some level!

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“Just One Thing” ~ De-Stress by Shifting Your Thoughts to Gratitude

Recently, I was teaching a seminar on the incredible power of our thoughts, our beliefs, our self-talk and our emotions and how they all directly affect our level of health.

Mounting scientific evidence has clearly demonstrated for years now that the old adage “it’s all in your head” is truly ridiculous. What’s going on in your head is a dangerously underestimated piece of the Health & Happiness Puzzle! Gone are the days of blowing off ‘positive thinking’ as a New Age mentality or hippie mantra. What you consistently think about, talk about and emote WILL shape the outcome of your health… and your life.

Better take it more seriously. Time to be responsible with what you’re allowing IN, and what you’re allowing to cultivate in that pretty little brain of yours!

Yes, you need to fuel up with the right nutrition in order to build a healthy body and brilliant brain. Yes, you must move regularly in order to function properly and feel your best. BUT, you can do these two things ’til the cows come home… and if you’re in a cycle of Stinkin’ Thinkin’, you will not experience optimal health and happiness. Your negative thoughts, attitude, emotions, beliefs, and self-talk will make sure of that. Time to shift thoughts – time to take control of what’s going on in between your ears!

If YOU don’t determine what goes on up there, who does?! That’s a scary thought!

This is an overwhelmingly large topic to address here. So, for the purpose of this brief article, I simply wanted to share a revelation that one particular seminar attendee experienced. It was a breakthrough for him. In the past, this same little gem has gotten me through the toughest time of my life, too. I figured I’d better share it!

This gentleman was sharing with me that he was going through a very, very challenging time in his life. He had suffered a knee injury while on vacation  many years ago and is still experiencing significant pain as a result. All medical testing has told him that it’s a degenerative condition and there’s not really anything they can do at this point, other than medicate him.

(By the way, in the field I’m in, I see a lot of people with pain issues and chronic illness issues. This man is not alone. In fact, I’ve had a very similar conversation with a handful of people in the past month alone. I just chose to share HIS particular situation because he gave me permission to!)

Anyhow, I noticed that in the time that I’ve known him, he has become quite skilled at listing all the things that he CAN’T do anymore because of his injury. Over and over again. He would talk about every possible negative association to this injury possible. He no longer plays the sports he loves. He no longer rides his motorcycle. He has a hard time getting up and down stairs. He doesn’t want to go on vacation in case he gets hurt again. He can’t do much as far as exercise anymore. And more…

Now, he has pain almost all the time – with some good days mixed in there, too – so I can understand his enormous challenge in overcoming this type of thinking. Again, like so many others in his shoes, he expressed that “the pain is always there… it’s a constant reminder of how everything went wrong and all the things I can’t do… how can I possibly think “happier” thoughts when the pain is always there?! This has ruined my life! How can I think about being “happy” when this pain is always lurking?”

Good question.

My full response was MUCH longer than what I’ll say here (Gee, imagine that!), but ultimately, I asked him to shift his focus with me… right then and there. I wanted him to tell me something he was thankful for. In fact, I said “Snap out of it… for just a few seconds, at least.” I understand that he’s got a big battle to deal with now. I understand that his life isn’t what he had envisioned. I understand that he has had to change his lifestyle. BUT… does all that mean that he can’t still choose happiness?

We talked about how things could have been SO much worse, as far as his injury is concerned. We talked about the relative significance of a non-life-threatening injury as compared to all the atrocities in the world. We talked about what good could possibly come from re-hashing the details and negativity of the injury and its subsequent lifestyle changes.

In fact, we talked about how his constant focus on and attachment to his injury was his choice. It IS possible to feel pain and NOT be overcome with negativity, frustration and hopelessness. It IS possible and I believe it is NECESSARY.

Holy cow!! I asked him, “How much more of your life are you going to throw away by allowing this to go on?” You are the ONLY one who can shift your thoughts on this. If you don’t I can guarantee you’ll spend the rest of your life exactly like this – negative, pissed off (sorry), sulking, brooding… and in PAIN! Your body simply cannot heal effectively when you’re full of toxic emotions.

Man, I tell you, he was hard pressed to come up with some positive things in his life! That’s how deep the negativity was running. I had to gently prod him and remind him that he was a great man… an ALIVE man! That seemed like a pretty important starting point! He has an incredible, loving, supportive wife. He has a close-knit family that he sees regularly. He loves his new job – he gets to make a difference in our world and our planet. He and his wife have financial security. No one in his family has any chronic or life-threatening illness. He’s a talented musician, artist and writer. He has a fabulous circle of friends… and on and on. He’s truly a great guy.

Funny how one knee had clouded his thinking so severely.

God puts us here to shine our greatness all around us… NO MATTER WHAT. Our core values can come shining through the murkiest conditions. They MUST come through… or else what. What?! What else are you gonna’ DO? Be angry your whole life?!

We talked about the transformational power of GRATITUDE. Having a grateful heart changes everything. Everything. It’s one of the most important things I can possibly recommend to anyone suffering on any level. Gratitude lifts us to a higher level. Up there, there are more important, loftier things than physical pain.

No, the pain may not go away as soon as you’d like… or maybe not ever. So… who will you BE in spite of the pain? Who will you BE along with the pain? Who will you BE in order to overcome the pain?

Allowing so much focus on the negatives directly sabotages a grateful heart. Likewise, a grateful heart overpowers toxic thinking 100% of the time. It’s not even a fair contest!

It’s not always easy. But it IS simple. You can go into “training” right now. This might be a new skill for you… to shift your thoughts to those of gratitude and appreciation rather than focusing on all the worldly trials and tribulations of our days. Sure, those will always come up. But once you develop this skill of finding the blessings in spite of it all, those trials and tribulations are far more manageable.

So, what happened to the gentleman from the seminar? In the weeks since our discussion, he has made the consistent effort to begin and end his day by affirming all that he is grateful for and all that he has to appreciate.  In return for his investment, he is beginning to notice a lessening of his pain… but more importantly, a significant improvement in his overall outlook and attitude! He says that he feels consistently joyful for the first time in years.

I feel the same way every time I remember to do this during moments of stress. It’s like a secret formula for living a happier life!

Each day… as often as you can throughout your day… look for the blessings. They ARE always there. A grateful heart is a key to overcoming stress, pain and any negativity. What an amazing gift we’ve been given!

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Healthy Mindset Theme of the Day… Let Your Greatness Shine!

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Copy of P1030993

Each day, the kids and I talk about a “big idea” for the day. We talk about some theme or character trait or mindset that we can focus on in an attempt to lift us up from low level stinkin’ thinkin’ and stress. They’re learning that THEY decide the type of people they will be… their circumstances, surroundings and other people do not dictate that.

It’s a work in progress, for sure!! (As it is for many of us grown-ups, too!)

This morning on the way to school, I was sharing the idea with them of  “Letting your greatness shine”. We talked about how God places greatness in each and every one of us… and it’s up to us to let it out. We talked about situations that they might encounter throughout a typical school day, and how they could make a different-than-usual choice in that circumstance… one that would allow their inner greatness to shine through.

It was really a wonderful ride to school this morning. One of those moments that made me feel like there’s still a shred of hope for that elusive Mother-of-the-Year award to find me one of these decades!

Once we were in the school, I was helping my son get situated in his Junior Kindergarten class room. I could tell that his anxiety over mommy departing was once again building up. I simply smiled at him and said, “Remember what’s inside you, OK. You can do this.”

His teacher overheard and asked, “What’s inside you? What’s mommy talking about?”

He quietly responded in a very shy voice, “I have greatness inside me. Today, I’m going to let it shine… even if I’m sad or miss mommy… I’m going to look at the sunshine and remember that MY light is just as bright!”

Awwwww… I just wanted to squeeze that little guy to pieces right then and there! I gave him a quick little kiss and a big hug… then scooted out of there before he could see the tears in mommy’s eyes.

It made my heart SO happy! : )

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On the Radio Today

WebsiteBarbara5Headshot_bigger

WebsiteBarbara5Headshot

Join me this afternoon at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Barbara as I am the guest on Barbara Hofmeister’s weekly radio show, “To Be”.

Barbara has been in the personal growth and development field since 1978 and is the founder of http://www.yoursuccesscycle.com. In addition to her vast knowledge and experience in helping others rediscover their dreams, Barbara is such a sweetie! She makes me smile every time we chat!

Join us today at 1pm EST by going to http://www.blogtalkradio/Barbara. You can wrap Christmas presents as you listen and begin developing your happier, healthier plan for the New Year!!

(If any of the links don’t directly take you there when you click on them, just type them into your web browser and it’ll work just fine! Sorry about that…)

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Healthy Mindset and Emotional Balance

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Being completely healthy includes our emimages meditationotional, mental, social and spiritual health in addition to our physical health.

Health is a state of consistent homeostatic cell function… a state of consistent overall balance.

Emotional and mental health doesn’t mean that we never have stressful moments… or days… or weeks… or chapters of our life! No. Stress if part of life.

Just like we do with our nutrition and exercise if we expect better health, we need to fill up with the “good things” in those areas first in order to experience optimal function and health. In the areas of mental and emotional health, it means we need to “plug in” to whatever fills us up. We need to nurture ourselves – our souls, our spirits, our minds.

Whatever this means for you, whether it’s prayer, meditation, relaxation, journalling… whatever it is that fulfills you, centers you, balances you, restores you and reconnects you, THAT’S what you need to do. Diligently.

The stress of life will always be there. Sure, you can probably get rid of some of it. But some will remain. How bland life would be if it were all smooth sailing! (I’d be willing to try it out, though, if God’s looking to run a little experiment!)

When we’ve consistently been building our solid foundation for mental and emotional balance, we’re able to see the stress through different eyes. Maybe we don’t respond to it the same way anymore. Maybe it doesn’t throw us so far off track. Maybe we’re able to see the light sooner. Maybe we’re able to climb back on board and get back to creating happiness more effectively.

In some personal way, having a rich, solid foundation of faith, balance, peace, gratitude, love and joy, seems to get us through those tough times with fewer battle wounds.

We’re only given what we can handle. Each challenge shapes us. Every challenge and painful experience is an opportunity for our greatness to shine through… an opportunity to become the person God would have us be. I sometimes think that the deeper and more raw the pain is, the richer and more profound the blessings are. We are all so blessed, no matter what.

God is so good.

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I Am Thankful For…

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images cuke

As I mentioned here the other day, our Thanksgiving tradition is to spend the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving talking about (and writing about, now that the kids are old enough) what we’re thankful for each day. This year, we have little note cards and pencils right at the table to jot down appreciative thoughts, then we drop them in a kid-decorated big glass vase in the center of our table.We’ll read them on Thanksgiving Day.

My son’s latest Thanksgiving note of thanks brought a smile to my face… again. I love what kids think about!

He said, “I am thankful that mom buys us a lot of cucumbers.”

Who knew?!

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Word & Thought of the Day ~ I am thankful for…

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P1040988

One of our Thanksgiving traditions is to spend the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving talking about, making crafts about, writing about, etc. what we are thankful for.

This year, with both kids writing, we made this little project our dining table centerpiece.

I have a glass jar with “Thanksgiving-colored” little sheets of paper and a couple pencils, and a big glass vase in the center that’s decorated with fall leaves the kids made/colored/waxed… a hodge-podge of autumn leafy things!

As often as we like, we pull out a sheet of paper, jot down something we are thankful for, fold it up and put it in the vase. In the past, we’ve talked about our accumulated Attitude of Gratitude notes on Thanksgiving day, as we’re preparing the meal or around the dinner table. This year, for the first time since having children, we’re traveling to visit relatives for Thanksgiving.

It’s undecided – whether we’ll bring the notes along to share, or share them with each other before we go.

Anyhow, so far, we’ve got the standard things I would expect from our kids… “I am thankful for.. family, our friends, our home, good food, our toys, etc.”

This morning, my daughter was exceptionally pleased that she and her brother were getting along swimmingly with no “issues”, so she wrote, “I am thankful for a nice, no-fighting-with-Braeden-family morning.”

Ahhh… nice.

Her little brother happened to be watching me clean the top of the fridge as he was thinking of what he’s thankful for today. I had pulled down the previously-hidden can of chocolate covered almonds from my daughter’s Brownie sales campaign… not really thinking before I had placed them in plain sight. Oops.

My son said, “I am thankful that I have a mommy who is SOOOOOO nice that she’s going to let me have some of those little chocolate things later today, and she’s not even going to say NO!!”

They keep me on my toes!

I am thankful for these precious, funny two little people! I am thankful for the times we all laugh together!

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Word & Thought of the Day(s)

Just in case you were wondering…

Yes, I’ve had some “scheduled” ideas for words and thoughts of the day lately that I haven’t shared with you here. The main reason is that there are days (sometimes, a string of SEVERAL days in a row!) where my kids remind me that they are only 7 and 4!

Sometimes, like a few days this week, we just needed to keep reinforcing the thought of the day, “Please listen to your mother and do what I ask of you the FIRST time I ask!!!”

Hard to move to loftier thoughts and vocabulary when we’re continually learning to embrace the chain of command in the home! ; )

That’s OK. I can pretend to be patient!

Today’s thought of the day… again… is “Listen (and follow through) the FIRST time. Doing so allows us to enjoy each other more AND we get to do more fun things!!”

I don’t think you’ll find that in a book of quotes anywhere!

You WILL find a closesly related thought, though, that happens to be one of my favorites: Discipline is Freedom.

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Word & Thought of the Day ~ Present-Time Consciousness (PTC)

Relax... and enjoy the moment!
Relax... and enjoy the moment!

Relax... and enjoy the moment!

This is a loaded topic! PTC is something my husband and I have practiced in our Wellness practice for many, many years. Simply, it means focusing on the present moment and really BEING in the moment and being fully with the person or people in your presence.

In our practice setting, we’ve adopted this way of relating to ourselves and others primarily because it helps us deliver the best care and, even more importantly in my opinion, it truly honors the person you’re with… when you’re giving them 100% of your present focus.

We’ve all heard it said, in one way or another, that just a few brief moments or minutes of focused, sincere attention and connection with someone can be far more powerful, meaningful and fulfilling than an hour of distracted, insincere fluff!

As you can imagine, this is incredibly important in the field of healing. It is easily my favorite part of being in the practice – reaching a focused, intentional connection with someone.

Guess what? I’ve found PTC to be even MORE important, now that we have children.

Life is busy! It’s easy to be distracted and become overwhelmed. It takes proactive effort to shift our thoughts and focus back to the present moment and those in our presence right now. I have to remind myself of this daily… to let go of some of the multi-tasking and distractions for some focused lovin’ on the kids!

Of course, they thrive on it. They can handle me working for long spurts at home, knowing that they can count on me to consistently put everything aside for a few minutes and shift my focus 100% to THEM!

Anyhow, that’s our focus today, the kids and I. Learning how to focus on the NOW.

I could take this “present moment” topic in many different directions. But for today, my simple message with the kids is this…

Let go of the stuff that’s bugging you about the past. If you need to fix something or apologize for something or make things right with another person… then do that. It’s the honorable thing to do. BUT, if you’ve taken the high road and done your best, yet something is still bothering you, or worrying you, or upsetting you, or stressing you out… LET IT GO!

What’s done is done. If you can’t make it better, move on!

Now, on the flip side, we talk about the future.

We can make plans, set goals, and get excited about things to come. That’s all fine. I do believe we play a direct role in shaping our lives. I do believe that what we think about, talk about, pray about, and focus on the most does indeed have a far greater likelihood of manifesting. I believe that what we stress about, worry about and are anxious about has a way of showing up, too.

I also believe that, ultimately, we are not the only ones in charge! Life has a way of reminding us of that.

Therefore, I’m talking to the kids about living within this very cool balance we’ve been given: becoming a powerful co-creator of your life by intentionally shaping your thoughts, words, choices and focus, AND… not getting too attached to what’s “supposed to happen” in the future. It’s not under our direct control.

(I know some of you would say it is… I just haven’t been able to master it yet!!)

Today, we’re talking about life as though we’re driving a boat. Yes, I should have thought of this in the middle of summer, I know!) We’re driving our boat, and we’ve been given a lot of control (free will) with the speed, steering and the general direction we’d like to go. But, there will be waves, currents, other boaters, weather conditions and mechanical issues that can change our course.

We get to decide how we’ll respond to these things… but some of them will be out of our direct control.

As long as we’re moving (living), there will always be a wake behind our boat (the past). Not much you can do about the wake. Can’t change it. BUT, you can enjoy it once in awhile by looking back there and seeing where you’ve been… or you can ski or wake board in it for fun (like re-visiting old times). If you don’t like the looks of your wake when you look behind your boat, then change the current direction or speed of your boat NOW in order to change your future wake.

Finally, enjoy THIS boat ride. Enjoy the scenery, the wind in your hair, the water splashing on your skin. Take it all in! Give great thanks for the opportunity for this boat ride… and truly enjoy the others who are sharing this ride with you.

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Word and Thought of the Day ~ Team Player

This was actually from a couple days ago. The kids and I had SO much to accomplish and so much running around to do (including fun activities for them, too… in case you thought I was dragging them all over town just for mom’s boring errands!).

I notice that the more we have to do, and the tighter the schedule needs to be, the more resistance my charming little boy puts up! He moves to the beat of his own drummer! I’m perfectly aware that this is his current method of getting the biggest reaction out of his entire family! (That, and doing these really hilarious dance moves throughout the house while stark naked! I digress.)

Anyhow, this “rebellious” streak of his drives his sister insane, leading to some sibling ‘challenges’… to say the least! I didn’t feel like having a stressful day of rushing that was full of anxiety for all of us. I thought I’d approach things differently from the start. Instead of “barking” out commands and countdowns all day, I simply started the day by talking about how we’re all on the same TEAM.

We talked about working together, supporting each other’s efforts and focusing our energy and momentum in the same direction in order to: 1) enjoy each other more, and 2) accomplish all the things we wanted to that day.

If anything appeared to be getting off track at any point, I gently reminded them that great teams are able to overcome personal differences in order to lift the team up. We talked about how our family is the most important team we’ll ever be on.

It worked out really well. It was just a small, fun shift in their thinking that helped us all have more fun as we were keeping on schedule.

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Word & Thought of the Day ~ Thorough

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Copy of P1040671

Today has been a bit of a “chore” day around the house. It’s not so much the word “thorough” that was important for me to teach the kids, but rather today’s thought.

The thought, or our ‘theme’ for the day is: If you’re going to do a job, do it well. If you’re going to put in the time, you might as well do a great job… it takes the same amount of time to go through the motions!

It’s a simple, basic thought for kids. BUT, as grown-ups, we know full well that it makes a tremendous difference.

It ties in closely with responsibility and being accountable and conscientous. We’ve talked about how it’s not a great character trait to get into the habit of saying “it’s good enough” in most circumstances. If we CAN do better, then we SHOULD do better.

I’m trying to keep this in perspective so as not to raise completely anal-retentive, perfectionist off spring!! It certainly is NOT about being perfect. But it IS about doing your best, being thorough and completing the task at hand.

We’ve been talking about all the people and examples that we’d never want to hear “good enough” or “close enough” or “nobody will notice it’s not quite right or quite complete” from… like your surgeon, your pilot, your dentist, an astronaut, a politician (no further comment!), a teacher, a scientist, a lawyer, your hair stylist, your banker, a cashier, a pharmacist… and so on.

My favorite thought regarding today’s theme is “Do the right thing – and your best – whether anyone notices or not.”

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Word & Thought of the Day ~ Chillax!

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Copy of P1040746We’ve been on the go quite a bit for the last few weeks. After work and soccer this morning, it was time to remind the kids about the importance of “Chillaxing”.

Chill out.

Relax.

It’s good for the soul!

(Yes, I normally choose ‘lofty’, inspirational, motivational or character-building words and thoughts for our daily theme. Oh well, they’ve enjoyed this one today! It has served an important purpose.)

They needed a refresher course in hanging out at home, laying low, de-stimulating, being creative, and enjoying simpler things.

Even kids can easily get caught up in burning the candle at both ends. They can also come to consciously or sub-consciously expect to always be on-the-go and stimulated by external sources… field trips, sports, play dates, activities, errands… stuff.

Not that all the stuff is inherently “bad”, it can just get to be too much. Kids need balance, too.

Chillax!

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