Dr. Mom Online

Mother’s Day has taken on new meaning for me in the past couple of years. For my entire life it used to simply be a fun, jovial and “light” time to spoil my mom. Then I became a mom and it turned into a day for my mom and I to bask in the glow of attention… even if only for a nice dinner out with our family. Now, it has much greater depth and meaning in my heart.

It was Mother’s Day weekend two years ago when we were told that my mom’s breast cancer had spread throughout her body. My life forever changed in that moment. My mom was my most cherished best friend, my personal angel, my hero and my biggest fan. I felt like part of me died that spring. It was a crushing blow for all of us. But, through the darkness, something unexpected emerged – a bigger part of me began to fully live.

I started paying attention to things I had previously taken for granted. I started searching for the tiniest of blessings and miracles that God had placed in my path each day. I found beauty and love in places I had overlooked for years. I cherished each moment I was able to spend with mom (like I should have been doing all along!). I started doing the same with my husband, my children, my dad and all the other precious people I love. I realized like never before how incredibly blessed and fortunate I am. My mom’s dying, and the way she and I walked that journey together, was truly a gift in itself. With the bad, there is always the good… sometimes we just need to look for it more closely. God is so very good.

I miss the physical presence of my mom more than I ever thought I could miss anyone or anything. I feel like my heart and soul have deep, aching wounds ~ a gaping hole in the place where my life with mom used to be. Thank God, literally, time and faith have softened the edges of that hole. I’ve carefully, intentionally filled the rest of my heart with gratitude, appreciation and joy. I feel my mom’s beautiful, warm, loving smile as I take the time to nurture myself and heal.

In this ’season’ of Mother’s Day, of course my thoughts drift to my mom even more than usual. I’ve found that my emotions can be all over the place in the weeks leading up to the day. Yes, there is sadness. But there is overwhelming gratitude as well. My mom didn’t leave behind a fortune of jewels, money or material things. She left me with a priceless legacy far more valuable.

My mom taught me everything I needed to know about being a great mom and an exceptional woman, all through her example. She taught me about choosing happiness, even when it’s not easy. She taught me how to love unconditionally and how to fully accept people, without judging. She taught me how to have faith and trust God, no matter what. She taught me to do the right thing, regardless of whether anybody would notice. She showed me how to be kind, patient and gentle. She showed me time and time again how just being really nice and sincere makes other people feel really good. She showed me how to create a fulfilling, meaningful, joyful, loving and rich life by doing little things that make a big difference.

This is my mom’s legacy.

When I think about Mother’s Day, I don’t care about material things like jewelry or store-bought cards and gifts. I don’t need to be spoiled or wined and dined. In fact, now I know why mom always said that, too! What I desire the most is to truly enjoy my family and feel every ounce of gratitude I have for their presence in my life. The most cherished gifts are heartfelt words, the homemade gifts and acts of appreciation and love. Sure, if you really want me to, I’ll let you drag me to a nice restaurant, too! And if I really, really have to, I’ll even let you give me a massage as a gift… but only to make you happy!! (But I don’t want it on Mother’s Day. I want my family on Mother’s Day.)

I’d like a few quiet moments to ‘be with’ my mom, to reflect upon the significance of my own role as a mom and the legacy I’m creating, and to express my gratitude to all the other incredible nurturing women in my life. Of course, I’d love for my family to handle the meals and clean up on Mother’s Day, but only so I get even more time to relax and enjoy them! I just want to “play” with my family ~ combine my favorite things to do, like something ‘outdoorsy’, with my favorite people, minus all the work. That’s MY kind of math! Can you imagine how much more fun motherhood would be if we didn’t have all those daily domestic duties… and we could just relax and enjoy the people we love the most! That’s what I’d like a little taste of on Mother’s Day… and maybe a few other days throughout the year would be nice!

Motherhood is the hardest, most challenging thing I’ve ever done. But God rewards me with profound joy, pure and intense emotion, infinite depths of love, and some unbelievably hilarious moments! I am truly blessed to be a mom!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Tags: breast cancer, Mother's Day